Sometimes the best way to be happy is to put yourself first. I've always had this great desire to please everyone around me, to keep them happy, because I figured if they were happy, I'd be happy. If I'd just do what my parents wanted, if I'd just acquiesce to the demands of others (friends, people who looked up to me or counted on me, etc), I wouldn't feel this nagging guilt of forever failing to live up to expectations.
It took a long time to learn that you really can't please everyone.
When do people change? "They change when it hurts too much to go on in the same way."
I've come to realize that being a people person, a giver, will always benefit others first before they benefit me. It's come to the point where, at the sake of my own precious time and commodity, I will put others before me... where I just foresake my happiness... almost as if to say it's not as important as everyone elses.
And if you are like me or you know what I'm getting at, you should also know, we only have this one life to live... to live the way we want to. I don't want to look back on it, reminiscing about how happy I made someone else rather than myself. Sure, its fulfilling, to please others, but it should come naturally. It should not be demanded of, it should not be forced especially from friends. I should do it out of my own will.
And from now on, I choose to be more selective of when and how I choose to please. My hands can only hold so much...and frankly, if you don't like it, f* off.
Excuse my French, but I think I've just taught myself how to say no.
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