1. You won't meet her at a club or bar. Your soul mate will not need to wear skin tight dresses that are too low cut in order to get free drinks. She won't be here booty shaking to Nicki Minaj for attention. The decent ones don't go clubbing to get hit on. In fact, they abhor it. And if they do enjoy it, well, you get what you paid for, which is a few drinks.

2. Know what your likes are and stick to them. You like indie music? Go to that obscure band's show. Go hiking on Sundays and catch matinees alone. It's the best feeling when you meet someone who likes the same weird music or hobbies. But it is important to have hobbies and passions of your own that you pursue to keep yourself happy and learning and growing. From those, you make new friends and you're doing something for yourself.

3. Be picky. Learn to discern quality from quantity; the real deals from the cheap thrills. Girls love picky, well rounded men. The more discerning his taste and the more fuck he couldn't give about some heavily made-up pair of tits, the more attractive he is. Case in point:

We were backstage at a Shall Not Be Named rapper's show. Before his set, a leggy blonde in a skimpy dress walks in with a douchey looking promoter. All eyes turned to her and he gives her a quick glance too before turning back to our conversation. "She's cute," I casually say, gauging for his response. "Not really," he says. Why not? "Girls like her are everywhere. But few are like you." Your dream girl shouldn't be any girl that walks by. She has to be special (and she should feel it), with quirks and qualities that complement yours. Hold out because she's as real as you are and if you remain true you will find each other. Bare your blue skin and she won't pass you by.

4. She's not going to appear tomorrow. Or the next day. She's a rare bird. As rare as lightning hitting the same spot twice. She's as unique as you are. This will take a while. It may be years, but when it happens it will be worth the wait. In the mean time, focus on number 2 and keep being the oddball that you are. If you are always on "the prowl," beware. Nothing turns off a lady more than the stink of desperation. Just focus on yourself and those around you.

5. When she does arrive, after so long of a wait, don't ruin it with too much thought, too much logic or questions. "Is this real? Are we moving too fast? There's just so much chemistry that its scaaary." Stop. For once in your life understand the profoundness of the situation that just landed on your lap and do not question it. You just got hit by lightning. It is not mere accident that two people who are so completely compatible in so many minute ways, fitting together like the perfect response to the silliest question, like you've know each other all along, hands fitting perfectly into yours, whereupon hearing their voice the world proceed to fade away, can happen to meet when they did in a city of thousands of nameless, faceless strangers. There is no rhyme or reason to love and when it happens it just happens, right when it is suppose to. For as soon as you question it, as soon as you hesitate it will flutter away as quickly as it came. Some things work in mysterious ways and when the universe finally delivers what you have been due, what you've been waiting for, you can only give blindly into your intuition and enjoy the ride. You won't feel any thing like this ever again. Some never do. Don't be like them. They say only fools fall in love and it may be the only real truth there is.