It finally hit me. And then all the sudden I realized I was one of them; one of the drifters who weren't really lost, but just wandering New York and exploring it's many crevices hoping to find a niche that I could fit into. The truth is, you never really fit in. And that's when you do, when you finally realize that. 

Tonight I smiled from ear to ear. It was almost obscene, if a smile can be obscene. They do not make movies like this any more; I caught a viewing of Funny Face at the Tribeca Grand Hotel. Besides from the fact that I feel like a creature who was born to live and lurk in the darkness of swank hotel lobbies (hello, Royalton!), I have loved Audrey Hepburn since I was four years old (Roman Holiday was my Audrey introduction). 

Tonight's ending to the weekend came as a much blessed answer to the dismal weekend's games and charades. I say that not because I had a bad weekend. Oh it was fantastic. I hung out with some amazingly talented people, brunched and stayed way pass reasonable hours, witnessed extraordinary live music and blurted a lot of things (existentialism?) while excessively lubricated with the driest white wine. There were a few beautiful girls, fragile, but gorgeous girls.

What left me disheartened was how desperate the 'night life' in New York is. You can dress it up however you want, you can cover it with the most expensive perfumes and extend your gaze with feathery lashes, but at the end of the night, you just want someone to kiss and take home. An empty and heartless pursuit which completely turns me off. These people weren't here to talk, they didn't want wit. They wanted tease and flesh. A small glimpse of hope so they can do this again next weekend. The most enlightening part of my nights? A conversation I exchanged with a sweet cab driver from Harlem who just got married last year. 

And then words of wisdom from a girlfriend floated down on me, "There is so much more to New York than going out and getting drunk." 

There is so much more to this city, and I felt like I have let myself and her down. So today after brunch, I ditched the subway and the cabs, and walked (more like strolled languidly) home. And tonight I took myself out to the Tribeca Grand and indulged in more wine, buttery popcorn, and Funny Face. I was lucky to even have a friend to laugh with. And for a few hours, I was transported to Paris, to which I think New York would be its mistress. I was sad for a moment when I realized that only in New York can I have a glorious night like this after such an lonely weekend surrounded by so many people.

From now on I promise you, sweet New York, that I will explore all the other things which you have to offer, not just your dark nights that seem to be filled with the same old. I will pick out my favorites and compile a list for whoever may need it:

"If you feel lonely, go to so and so.... If all you want to do is dance and forget, go here.... If you want to be alone to read, take up a spot at so and so...." Ask me later, and I will tell you.

Some screencaps from the film, courtesy of