It was one of my first jobs during college and I knew she attended the same school. One of the few other younger employees on our team, I noticed her immediately. A few months go by and I finally have to courage to initiate a conversation. I wanted to get to know this girl. She was so poised and put together while I couldn't even wake myself up early enough to get a shower in. I approached her cubicle and she was inviting. We talked for about an hour connecting over school, classes and the office life here. The conversation went well and I returned to my work for the day. After that, we never spoke again. She would encounter me in the hallway or in the elevator and advert her eyes. Maybe I my nose is crooked? Maybe she had social issues? Maybe it had nothing to do with me at all.
I left the job a year later and here she is, a permanent memory on my little blog.
We hadn't spoken for over two years. Time flew by so fast that when he finally texted me, I thought we had spoken just last month. No, trust me, it's been two years, he insisted. I had to stop talking to you because I was mad about what you told me about my relationship at the time. But you were right. He had come back to say this. I remembered at that moment I promised myself to never be a martyr for the truth again. Some people just don't deserve it.
"I can't be the friend you expect me to be." The end.
He took my picture. He was very talented and very miserable. After I dropped him off at the airport, I never heard from him again. Perhaps he found his happiness after all. I hope he did because what he did was cowardly and I don't want it to be in vain.
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I don't know what the purpose of this post is, maybe it's not healthy to dwell on these unanswered moments of the past. Maybe it's cathartic.
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