She's not dreamily watching her sleep, she's trying to figure out how to steal her soul.
She's not dreamily watching her friend sleep, she's trying to figure out how to steal her soul.

There is this woman who has been an avid follower of mine for a very long time. We used to be friends until I realized that I was always giving and she was always taking. I've invited her to countless get-togethers and birthdays but the courtesy was never returned. In my annual evaluation of toxic people to cut off, she was one of them. Now she is still attached to my waistcoat grabbing at whatever she can get.

Don't get me wrong. I love having followers; as the queen of oversharing I value long-lasting patronage. My ten followers reach out and give me words of encouragement, they enjoy my writing and random instagram stories, they give me shout outs when I inspire them or introduce them to something new, and they tap me in the DM's when they haven't heard from me in a while, sending me words of kindness. The five of them make me feel like I add value by being me.

But this one feels different. This irritates me. And here's why.

She's like this badly made copy of me that I cannot get rid of. It doesn't feel like a symbiotic relationship, but more like a Desperately Seeking Susan long play. She doesn't interact with me in any way but she watches ALL. OF. MY. STORIES. Religiously.

There's been many incidents where she'll take "inspiration" from me and call it her own, using it as content without crediting. I remember her even starting a blog of her own but it came off like a someone trying desperately to sound deep and intelligent, like someone trying to cram as many big words into a sentence as possible. She even copied a tattoo I have. It was inauthentic. 

And inauthenticity offends me like no other. 

Yet she markets herself a feminist and is actively trying to start a network/business [?] helping other women. But aren't feminists supposed to lift each other up, support each other and not just unapologetically copy each other, especially, intellectually? 

For the record, you can copy me. No one is an original any more and least of all me. I am not the purveyor or anything new, but I do work to seek out rare things, unique and special things. I try to stand out and share what I find. So when you take from me at least have the decency to give me credit. 

Cultivating individuality and personal taste is real work. It's internal work. It's holding a mirror to yourself and working to polish off all the dust that once obscured your reflection. When you mirror yourself after someone else's, you've lost yourself.

There is no one else like you and there will never be another like you. 

So why are you wasting your time copying me? If I inspire you do let me know but let's celebrate our individuality instead of trying to become someone we are not.

And just for shits and giggles, here's the trailer of Desperately Seeking Susan. If you haven't seen it, you're in for a treat.